Don't Let This Change Anything
by MissingMommy
Summary: The Marauders deal with the aftermath of Sirius putting both Remus and Snape in danger. :: Marauders friendship, for Lara.


For QL round 9. I'm the Harpies Captain. I used goggles - write about a witch or wizard seeing someone in a new light.

For Lara.

* * *

Remus wakes up in immense pain. There isn't a part of his body that doesn't ache. It's not an unusual feeling for the night after a transformation. He's gotten accustomed to this feeling over the years.

He turns toward the chair that is always stationed next his bed. It's empty. He frowns, his heart sinking. One of his friends is always sitting next to him whenever he wakes up; all three if he wakes up late in the evening. It was always the part of the routine that made transformations bearable.

Madam Pomfrey shuffles near him, checking over his injuries before giving him a pain potion. He falls asleep before he can ask why his friends aren't there.

* * *

The next time he wakes up, James is half on the bed and half in the chair, snoring lightly. It doesn't look very comfortable, so Remus doesn't feel guilty when he pokes James until he wakes up.

James grabs his glasses from the bedside table before digging in his pocket. He offers Remus a piece of chocolate. His friends always bring chocolate afterwards.

Remus nibbles on it. "Where were you guys?" He's struck with a sinking feeling in his stomach when James doesn't answer right away.

"We got a little caught up in Dumbledore's office," James finally answers, looking uncomfortable. He looks as if he would rather be anywhere but Remus' bedside.

"What did you three do?" he asks, raising his eyebrow. He wonders what is making his friend act so cagey.

The corners of James' mouth turn upward for a moment before he becomes serious again. "Best save that explanation for after you get out the Hospital Wing, yeah?"

He narrows his eyes, but the look in James' eyes tells him that James won't say more. He has no choice but to wait for his answer. He thinks briefly that it's a good thing James is here; he would get the answer out of Peter rather easily.

* * *

James grimaces when Madam Pomfrey releases Remus the next afternoon, like he's not happy that Remus' stay has ended. He's been acting weird the entire time, and Remus can't figure out why. "We need to go to Dumbledore's office," he announces.

"Why would we need to do that?" Remus demands. There's a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Dumbledore will explain."

"He better," Remus mutters as he follows James to the Headmaster's office.

James gives the gargoyles the password and Remus follows him up into the office. Dumbledore sits at his desk, peering over his half moon spectacles as he reads the Daily Prophet. He puts down the paper when he notices he has company.

"Ah, Remus, I see you have recovered from the worst of your injuries," Dumbledore says warmly. "Please have a seat. We have much to discuss."

* * *

Remus doesn't remember the trip back to the dorms. He's too stunned to think of anything other than the dread that fills his stomach and the fear that courses through his veins. He allows James to gently guide him wherever he wants, which turns out to be Gryffindor tower. He rips the curtain to Sirius' bed open when he enters their dorm.

Sirius is lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He doesn't even look at Remus when the curtains part.

"I know what you're going to say," Sirius says. "And I know there's nothing I can say that can change this. But I -"

His anger flares for the first time since Dumbledore's office and he can't help but cut across Sirius. "I could've killed Snape! And I would've had to live with that fact the rest of my life," he exclaims heatedly. "Did you even think about that?"

There's a long silence as Sirius finally turns to look at Remus. There's regret in his normally mischievous eyes. "No I didn't."

Remus turns away from his friend. He never thought that Sirius could do something like this. He thought Sirius was nothing like his family, nothing like the horror stories he tells them. He always thought Sirius was brave and loyal, but all he can see is betrayal. He squeezes his eyes shut. "I can't be around you right now."

"I understand," Sirius whispers. He leans up and shuts his curtains back, obscuring him from Remus' view.

He's thankful that Sirius isn't trying to justify his actions. He's not sure that he could handle that.

* * *

"Why did you do it?" Remus asks. He pushes back Sirius' curtains, ignoring James and Peter's protests.

Sirius is sitting in the middle of his bed, his homework spread all around him. Sirius looks up in surprise; none of them have really spoken to him since the last full moon.

"I wasn't thinking," Sirius answers.

Remus shakes his head, opening his mouth to reply, but it's James who jumps up from his bed and stalks towards Sirius. "That's your excuse? You weren't thinking?" he demands, sounding outraged.

"We all know that Sirius doesn't think about the consequences of his actions. It's why we're always in trouble," Peter points out. He doesn't move from his bed, where he's doing his Charms essay.

James turns around to face Peter. "This isn't a prank! This was about Remus and his trust in us, which Sirius destroyed."

"I know, okay?" Sirius says loudly. "I know I fucked up and I would take it back if I could. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry, Remus. I'm really sorry."

Remus sighs, digging his fingers into his eyes until he sees spots. He wants to stay angry, but Sirius has been trying to make it up to him quietly; chocolate has been appearing on his bedside table since it happened and notes have shown up in Sirius' handwriting when the next two full moons came and went. He's seen Sirius' guilt. He takes his hand away from his eyes to look at Sirius.

"It's not going to be easy, but I think we can get past this," Remus says.

Sirius studies him for a minute before breaking out in a grin. Sirius throws himself at Remus, wrapping him in a hug. "You won't regret this," he whispers in Remus' ear.

When they part, Remus feels better than he has in weeks. He looks at his three friends and grins broadly. They will get past this.

* * *

Years later, when Remus first hears news of Black's betrayal and Lily and James' deaths, he thinks that he should've seen it coming, that Sirius showed signs of being able to betray his friends and Remus overlooked it.


End file.
